My Land, My Rules

To be fair, the swords were nicely tucked away from company.

(As tucked away as two massive blades even bigger than the six-foot-six beefcake who wielded them could be, anyway).

But Gladio? Could really get used to this. He'd spent his morning just tidying up, which didn't take much, so save for an excursion out to snag the traditional unique beverage for the week, most of his day was spent curled up with the kittens and reading while Nell was at work, and then testing to see how much of her cooking he could sneak while she was working on it before he was banished from the kitchen.

But hopefully not from the house entirely. It had been a lot of work, moving all those books!

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As long as he helped chop the vegetables she was considering the food he thought he was sneaking an acceptable loss. Though she might have been unable to resist smacking the back of his hand once and telling him he'd spoil his supper.

Before ruining it all by laughing.

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Gladio would more than happily do all the slicing, dicing, chopping and cutting Nell needed to do, even if it would involve a lot of shaking his head and claiming that he didn't see how anyone could call something this dinky a knife.

And when his hand got slapped for swiping carrots? He snorted.

"And here you were worried," he stated, "about becoming a mouse. And a mouse's dinner is about all a bite like that would spoil, too. Gonna take more than that to fill me up, and you know it."

Just wait, Nell. You were lucky they were having company, because after this? He might just have to test to see how serious you were about not picking up his underwear.

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Gladio might not like to discover what would happen to any underwear he left lying around. He really wouldn't.

"That's what I'm afraid of," she said with an arched brow. "Give you an inch - or a bite of carrot - and next thing I know my whole dinner will have disappeared and I'll have to send out for pizza!"

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Did it happen to involve a freezer, by any chance?

And, hey! He was just doing his part to help keep her from receding into meek and subservient like he said he would! He was helping, he was a great helper, just ask Liliana!

"Oh, come on," Gladio met that arched brow with a crooked grin, leaning in to nudge her a little, "you know we'll always just have Cup Noodle^TM to fall back on if we need to."

But that nudge turned into a little kiss, if she'd have it.

"But I promise," he said, "I won't eat all of it and there'll be plenty left for everyone else, too. It's just so hard sometimes, when everything just looks and smells so good."

And he was used to getting away with it with Ignis. Well, used to only getting a sigh and the threat of something much worse than a slap to his hand, anyway.

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He'd wish it involved the freezer!

Nell laughed. "Oh I'm so sorry we didn't think of it earlier. We could have presented everyone only with a table full of Cup Noodle™ and really panicked Iggy."

She was happy to meet him with a kiss. "Flattery, my dear sir, will get you far."

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"It has been working out pretty good for me so far," Gladio pointed out, grinning into another kiss, because how could he not, and he chuckled a little, after, with a shake of his head and a little bit of a heavy sigh. A brief little roller coaster of some of the emotions he'd been trying to manage that week.

"And I think Iggy's got enough to panic about right now without us going and adding even more to it. We'll just have to save the delicious Cup Noodle^TM smorgasbord for a special occasion, like my birthday, or something."

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She gave him an extra kiss and a tight hug in acknowledgement of the emotional load he'd been dealing with.

"Plenty of time for an all Cup Noodle delight," Nell said with a smile.

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"That's true," Gladio agreed, the tilt in his smirk an incredibly fond one. "You're pretty stuck with me, now."

His then drifted, speculatively, toward the little pile of vegetables, and then they returned to Nell with a lift of his scarred brow. "All this talk of Cup Noodle^TM's got me pretty hungry, though, even more than before."

A hand lifted, but didn't move toward the food. Not yet.

"Permission to steal another bite to keep from wasting away?"

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Nell laughed and waved him on. "Eat away."

She was no fool. She'd planned to cut almost twice as many vegetables as she'd actually need. She had met Gladio before after all.

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Beefslab, darling. Beefslab.

Though high-five, fellow member of the Sneaky Food Thief Brigade. At some points, they ought to share tips.

"I do believe congratulations are in order," Liliana noted softly, toasting his slightly with her drink. "And so, congratulations."

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Oh, there were plenty of beef-related nicknames to go around.

But Gladio's tips would be no good to you, Lils, Ignis already knew all his techniques.

He was unable to keep the grin off his face at that, but he did give her a grateful nod of his head. "Thanks," he said. "I appreciate that. Especially since I know it kinda put you and Igs in an awkward spot. Sorry about that."

Funny, he didn't look very sorry, and the sentiment probably wasn't helped when he followed it up with a "So? Are those contrats going right back at you, too?"

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Liliana would absolutely and categorically refuse to call you Beefcake, Gladio. Not unless it was followed up by an absurd surname like Thighpunch or Rockhead or something.

"My heart is warmed by your genuine and sincere apology," Liliana drawled, taking a sip of the weird drink he'd brought tonight. Which was absolutely the worst timing on her part, because he was already asking about what they were doing, which led to Liliana swallowing wrong and having a coughing fit instead.

Which, hey! Meant not having to answer, at least!

Listen, their relationship had worked perfectly well thus far without defining anything or talking about it, why change now?

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Well, then, things might get real confusing with other G-named Beefslabs down the road, but Gladio won't be too bent out of shape about it if he at least got to be Beeflab Numero Uno.

Very carefully and gently, Gladio gave Liliana a pat on the back for the coughing.

See? Helping! He was such a helper!

Not getting off that easily, though.

"I take it that's a no?"

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God, the two of them sauntering around the island like there was a critical shirt shortage. Liliana would spend the entire weekend facepalming at their antics.

"Did you know," she wheezed softly, "that you aren't meant to aspirate liquids? Particularly carbonated ones? I'm glad I can assist with a demonstration."

Sorry, Gladio, she couldn't hear your impertinent questions over the coughing.

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Now look who was being helpful.

"Huh," he stated, "I didn't know that. Thanks for sharing, Lils, that sounds really useful to know."

He eyed her a moment, before his head tilted with a more genuine, "You need some water? Or you think you'll be good?"

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The two of them, such a helpful pair!

She waved off his concern. "I'll be fine," she insisted, clearing her throat once or twice. "Honestly, if I'm taken out by a poorly swallowed mouthful of soda, the kindest thing you could do would be to let me die to that."

You know, instead of being taken by the shame.

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Was it bad, that Gladio's first thought, about Liliana falling victim to some rebellious soda taking an unauthorized trip down the wrong pipe was that at least there were plenty of people around for her to pull from if that survival instinct really kicked in?

"It's surprisingly strong stuff," he offered. "But I think you'll make it through this one."

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